Thai Islands Part 1

Koh Tao

1. Hmmmmm well it can definitely be said that taxi drivers here are not going to be taking the comedy world stage by storm anytime fuking soon, they have sense of humours drier than Dario's ongoing patch with the laydeees, which is saying something. Fair enough i may have called them Ladyboys, but i do think they're reaction was a bit over the top, resulting in me getting 6 stitches to the head.
2. Actual Ladyboys (not taxi drivers) ripping my top off in a nightclub. Drunken and defenseless. Can hardly be called a highlight of the trip. Least I got out of there in one piece and my pride still slightly intact. Very slightly.
3. Sink was blocked in our room, instead of unblocking it, the pricks just removed the whole pipe, so everytime ya brushed your teeth ya may as well just spat everything onto your feet. What the fuck?

Koh Phagnan

1. Fell asleep in a jungle, got at least 2 million ant bites. Wasn't happy about that, probably more my fault than the islands but its still going in.
2. When i did wake up after my night in the jungle, i got a taxi with my last 100baht, as I didn't know where i was staying i asked the driver to bring me to the port, little did i know there were 2 ports, one on either side of the island. Prick brought me to the wrong side, an hours drive in the wrong direction. Now again, its not entirely the islands fault, but he should have at least told me there were two ports. Dickhead.
3. Starting to think Thai builders are actual retards. When they put up a shower where the shower head cant be rotated ya think they'd put it at an angle that your actually able to shower in. 
4. Ger soaked my bed on the first night, (which the prick still denies) so i had to sleep with now blankets or anything for 3 nights, refused room service for 3 days in case they thought i pissed the bed or something. 

Koh Samui

1. Finally got a kebab over here, and it was a load of bollix, don't know how some1 can make a balls of a kebab but this greasy Turkish fucker did. Zaytoon need to get the fuck out here and pronto.
2. More Algerian pricks selling suits, 1- I am not your "mate" and 2. I'm not australian so stop putting on a shit aussie accent when trying to be my "mate."
3. I can only assume when they developed Koh Samui as a town that they did know of a little thing called rain. Its a wonder then why they built a town that everytime it fuking rains heavily, all the electricity goes. Sort that shit out. 
4. Again it can only be assume that the pricks did know it would rain at some stage, (having a rain season and all) you think they would have built buildings that were a bit more waterproof. came home from night out, it had rained a bit, the whole hotel room was drenched. Floor was wetter than a nurses pussy in coppers. Disaster of a place.
5. Develop a proper sewerage system, whole street constantly smelled of shit, mainly because the drains in the road are open to the surface way too much. 
6. I think Thai people and fitting showers is a disaster in its own right, if they want to make it look fancy and have a little indent in the floor where the shower is, at least have a gradual slope so the water goes down the fuking drain. Instead the water just stayed there, became stale over time and stank.